Create Space: Your Compassionate Anchor in the Flow of Grief and Life
It’s Tuesday, and I can already feel the subtle pressure of emotional exhaustion pressing down. The low hum of anxiety isn't just about being busy; it’s a symptom of being emotionally taxed, physically drained, and needing more grace than my schedule usually allows. When the natural, heavy ebb and flow of life—be it stress, sadness, or the deep exhaustion of grief—takes hold, our inner resources deplete quickly. In these moments, my internal to-do list feels less like a helpful guide and more like a chaotic, demanding bully.
I know why this tension is rising: I haven't intentionally "Created Space" yet this week. This ritual is not about forcing productivity; it is about creating a compassionate anchor. It is the single most powerful way I have learned to manage my emotions, address my ADHD tendencies, and regulate my energy, allowing me to trade the destructive cycles of self-anger for self-compassion.
Why "Create Space"? Finding Balance in the Flow
When we are emotionally taxed, we often try to push harder, believing that discipline is the answer. But discipline without grace is a recipe for burnout. My ritual, Create Space, is fundamentally an act of self-compassion, designed to give me a chance to breathe before the week consumes me.
The name “Create Space” is deeply intentional. Like my publishing company, Balancing Tree Press, my philosophy centers on the necessity of holding two opposing forces in harmony. For me, that means simultaneously thinking ahead to the grand vision I want to accomplish (the height of the tree) and returning to the practical details required to make it happen (the roots and the trunk). As a Libra and a writer, balancing is a core pursuit, and navigating the vast ebbs and flows of our emotional lives is one of the hardest things to keep steady.
“Create Space” is not just about scheduling tasks; it’s about intentionally creating emotional and physical space around those tasks. It's about looking at the week and saying, "This is what I have to do, and this is how I will protect myself while I do it.
Four Steps of the Create Space Ritual
I intentionally dedicate 30 to 60 minutes somewhere between Sunday and Monday to perform this ritual. I’ve done this weekly for years, and if I get to Tuesday ,(like this week!), I feel the anxiety taking over.
Here is the simple, four-step process I use to turn a chaotic list into a compassionate guide:
List the Reality: What has to happen?
List every event, appointment, and hard deadline for the week. This is a simple, no-judgment inventory of what already demands your time.
Set the Focus: What do I choose to make happen?
Identify the top 1-3 priorities you want to focus on and accomplish. These are your chosen goals, differentiating them from the demands of step one.
Define the Feeling: What is the emotional tone I want to set?
Instead of only focusing on the task, write out how you want to feel while accomplishing these things. Do you want to feel calm? Focused? Energized? This step reorients your mind toward grace, not just grinding.
Find the Anchor: What will keep me grounded?
Give yourself a single mantra, quote, or idea to meditate on. This is your mental touchstone to encourage follow-through and remind you to return to the feeling you defined in Step 3.
Transformative Power: From Chaos to Self-Regulation
This process helps me do more than just get things done; it helps me survive my own mind. By laying out my tasks, I can regulate my energy and time, matching the task to the space that makes the most sense to get it done efficiently.
This ritual is particularly crucial for managing my ADHD tendencies and stopping the emotional roller coaster of being "sad and mad and happy and tired." When I don't know what to do with myself, the ritual provides the map.
The Gift of Grace
The single most significant benefit of Creating Space is the gift of grace. Because I have intentionally carved out the time and defined my emotional intention, I don't get angry at myself when something takes longer than expected. I have moved away from rigid control and toward accepting flow.
When I operate from a place of planning, those necessary but often neglected things no longer slip by for as long. Think about the physical manifestations of emotional depletion: not eating enough, eating too much, or snacking instead of having fulfilling meals. These physical habits are often a manifestation of being emotionally overwhelmed or frustrated. When we take the time to look at the source of those agitations—by defining our feelings and setting our intention—we can find a deep and sustaining peace. We are finally doing what we can to feel whole and well-balanced.
Make Space for Yourself: How to Adopt the Ritual
The truth is, we spend so much time waiting for the "right moment" or the "extra time" to appear so we can finally start feeling whole. The Create Space ritual proves that you don't wait for the space—you must make it.
If you recognize yourself in the feeling of emotional exhaustion, the internal bully of the to-do list, or the struggles of trying to balance a full life with complex emotions, I encourage you to try the Create Space ritual this week.
Your Compassionate Action Plan
When to Begin: Dedicate 30 to 60 minutes somewhere between Sunday evening and Monday morning. This is the prime window to set the compassionate tone for the week ahead. Make it a non-negotiable appointment with yourself.
The Emergency Stop: This ritual is a tool for regulation, not just scheduling. If you feel the anxiety or emotional exhaustion rising during the week—just like I did this Tuesday—stop and perform the four steps immediately. Use it as an emergency brake to regain control and perspective.
Focus on the Feeling: The most important step is Step 3: Define the Feeling. Resist the urge to just create a perfect schedule. Ask yourself: "How do I want to feel as I move through this week?" A successful week isn't one where everything is checked off; it's one where you honor your intention and find grace.
The path toward self-regulation is paved with intentional action. Don't wait for the space to appear in your busy, emotionally taxed life. Take 30 minutes, open your notebook, and Create Space—for your energy, for your emotions, and for the peace you deserve.
