Ranger Rhythms: The Internal Permafrost
The Internal Permafrost – Standing at the Threshold
There is a season that doesn’t always make it onto the calendar. It’s the time between the deep freeze of winter and the certain bloom of spring. I call it the Internal Permafrost. It’s a time of erratic temperatures—warm one day, biting cold the next. The air is crisp, but the ground is unstable.
I am in that season now. My nervous system feels fried. My heart races, my breath catches in my throat, and the weight of hard decisions feels like a heavy pack on a steep trail. I feel the fragility of being human—the worries about security, money, and health swirling like a mountain mist that obscures the path.
The Signal in the Body
As a Ranger, I was trained to read the signals of the land. Dehydrated soil, shifting clouds, the way the undergrowth reacts to a sudden frost. Now, I am learning to read the signals of my own body. The bloating, the lack of focus, the racing heart—these aren't failures; they are signals. They are the "holding cell" for the transition.
Just like the permafrost, this state is temporary. It is the messy, uncomfortable undergrowth that must exist to create the blooms of the coming spring.
The Power of the Witness
The moment I stop fighting the feeling and start observing it, I become the Ranger again. When I look at my own fear with the same compassion I would give a stranded hiker or a struggling sapling, I reclaim my power. I realize that I am making decisions from a place of authenticity—doing exactly what I can do in this moment with exactly what I have.
When we are real with our fragility, we actually find our greatest strength. By breathing in the crisp air and connecting with the earth beneath me, I remember that I am not separate from the seasons. I am the season. And this, too, is part of the rhythm.
Adjusting the Tempo: The Rhythm of the Threshold
We often want to jump from the "Hard Decision" straight to the "Peaceful Result." We want to skip the muddy middle. But the middle is where the roots actually grow.
Regulation is about Befriending the Mud. When your heart is racing and your security feels threatened, you don't need to "fix" it immediately. You need to acknowledge it. Say to yourself: "My ground is thawing. It’s messy and I feel fragile, but I am still the steward of this land." To find your rhythm, give yourself permission to be "in-between." The spring at the coast is coming, but for today, the crisp air and the honest breath are enough.
The Ranger’s Check-In
Read the Signal: What is your body telling you right now? Don't try to change the signal; just acknowledge that it's being sent.
Identify the Permafrost: Where in your life are you currently "between seasons"? Can you allow that space to be messy without judging yourself for it?
Look Up: The sky doesn't panic when the clouds move in. It just holds the space until they pass. Be the sky today.
Find your peace. Let it thaw.
